Government Calls on Santa to Get More Poor Children on Nice List
The government has called on Santa Claus to get more children from poorer backgrounds on to the Nice List after this year’s delivery of presents.
Articles by UK Correspondent
Every Weather Reporter on Earth Forecasting Cloud With Chance of Fireballs
Local weather reporters across the planet have advised their viewers to prepare for an outbreak of dark cloud followed by falling fire from the sky and the likely end of the world.
David Cameron Calls For Leveson To Add “Slap on the Wrist” Clause To Report
David Cameron has called for a slap on the wrist amendment to the list of laws recommended in the Leveson Report into media ethics.
Government Ditches Web Surveillance Plans, Uses Facebook Instead
Relenting to public outcry, David Cameron announced the government will ditch controversial web surveillance plans and just friend people on Facebook instead.
Attack Submarine Recalled After Targeting George Osborne As National Threat
The Royal Navy’s £1.2 billion attack submarine has been recalled after mistakenly targeted George Osborne as a threat to the nation following his Autumn Statement.
End Times #1 Excuse Given By Men Who Haven’t Begun Christmas Shopping
A recent consumer survey suggests the Mayan doomsday prophecy is now the number one reason men everywhere have still not begun their Christmas shopping.
Oldest Undeciphered Text “May Be First Ever Terms of Service Agreement”
Researchers have indicated that the world’s oldest undeciphered text could be the first recorded instance of a Term of Service agreement.
Jimmy Savile Charity to Change Name to “Jack the Ripper Trust”
The Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust has looked to avoid controversy by changing its name to the “Jack the Ripper Charitable Trust”.
Nick Clegg Joins West Ham on Season Long Loan
A surprise deadline day transfer has seen Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg leave the coalition government and sign for West Ham United on a season long loan.
Olympics Inspire Nation to Walk Instead of Drive to McDonald’s
After two weeks of watching athleticism of the highest order, millions of Olympic enthusiasts have been inspired to walk to their nearest McDonald’s instead of driving.