Banker Microchips “To Be Compulsory” Under New Safety Laws
Thousands of investment bankers are being made to pay for their employees to be fitted with microchips under new economic safety plans.
Articles by Business Correspondent
Colombian Sex Workers Downgrade US Credit Rating
Colombian sex workers have downgraded the credit rating of the United States after the inability of Secret Service agents to cover a $47 charge.
George Osborne Cuts 10% Rate of Income Tax Square in Monopoly
George Osborne has announced plans to cut the rate of the Income Tax Square to five per cent for earnings over £10,000 during a game of Monopoly.
Acme Pay To Stop Wile E Coyote Using Products
Manufacturing conglomerate Acme Corp has offered to pay avid road runner chaser Wile E Coyote not to use its products.
Starbucks To Build New Shops Inside Other Coffee Shops
Starbucks have revealed their solution to a lack of expansion space by announcing they will begin opening new franchise locations inside rival coffee shops.
China Scolds US For Bringing Home ‘Shameful’ Grades
China has launched an astonishing attack on the United States after it received ‘shameful’ grades in it’s latest credit rating report card.
Darth Vader Calls For Empire To Reject Murdoch Death Star Bid
Darth Vader, Supreme Commander of the Imperial war machine, has urged the Galactic Empire to block a proposed hostile takeover of the Death Star by Rupert Murdoch.
Banker Pees on Homeless Man, Explains Trickle Down Theory
A Wall Street banker has successfully communicated the fundamentals of Trickle down economics after taking a leak on a homeless man outside his office building.
Goldman Sachs Cancels Contract With God
In what looks to become a hostile legal battle, banking giant Goldman Sachs have announced that they are to cancel their ‘unworkable contract’ with God with immediate effect
HMV Discover Something Called “The Internet”
HMV executives believe they are ‘very close’ to determining the reason for the company’s recent poor performance with insiders revealing that it may have something to do with ‘this thing called the internet’.