NORTH POLE – In the latest sudden resignation during the Trump administration, Santa Claus has confirmed he will resign his post this Christmas.
The announcement comes after Mr Trump found a lump of coal in his stocking instead of the $5 billion for a border wall he had asked Santa to ask Mexico to pay for.
In a Christmas Day tweet, the president said the gift giver will retire after the festive season. Although reindeer with knowledge of the situation claim he would continue delivering presents to those who still had Christmas cheer in their hearts.
Santa Claus is coming to retirement
The unprecedented step of relieving Santa Claus is in contrast to the praise Donald Trump had initially lavished on him. At one time claiming Santa would deliver “the best gifts in the history of Christmas from the standpoint of presents”.
White House sources said the president believed the wall would arrive this year as he had been “totally good all year, believe me”.
However, amid growing rumours Mexico would not be paying for the wall, his relationship with Santa is said to have soured. Mr Trump privately branded Santa as an “Obama holdout” and “a bit of a Democrat” in recent weeks.
Mr Trump revealed to friends that Santa had not been following his “American Christmas First” mandate, choosing to deliver presents to children other countries before arriving at American houses.
Christmas Chaos
Santa had been expected to see out his term in order to “allow sufficient time for a suitable jolly successor to be nominated and confirmed”.
But it is now being reported he has been forced out of the North Pole on Christmas Day, with acting White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney handed the keys to Santa’s Workshop on an interim basis.
Many observers suggest the timing of the announcement, just a day after Mr Trump abruptly ordered the withdrawal of Christmas decorations from the White House, dispels any doubt about the stark contrast between the two men.
In his resignation letter, Mr Claus strongly hinted at differences between himself and Mr Trump over the true meaning of Christmas.
Santa Shutdown
Members of Congress from both sides of the political divide have reacted with shock to the resignation.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said he was “distressed” to hear the resignation was reportedly due to “whether the president had been naughty or nice.”
Democratic House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who is chair of the Senate Festivity Committee, labelled the development “worryingly Grinch-like”.
In his letter, addressed to Mr Trump directly, Santa Claus described his views on “treating elves with respect”, likely referring to the mistreatment of former Attorney General Jeff Sessions.
He also mentioned using “all of the reindeer power at my disposal to provide presents for children everywhere, even those from shithole countries”.
“Because you have the right to have a Santa Claus whose views are better aligned with yours on these and other yuletide subjects, I believe it is right for me to step down from my position,” he wrote.
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