Illinois, US – Fast Food employees across the country are voicing their concern over “worrying” levels of turnover at the White House.
Following the departures of Andrew McCabe, Rex Tillerson, Gary Cohn, and Hope Hicks in the last month alone, the industry’s leading chains have highlighted a “serious employment problem” within the Trump administration.
“It looks like incompetence to me,” said one junior McDonald’s staff member who had never seen turnover like this in his eight-week career.
Low employee retention
The Trump administration has seen 34% of senior staffers leave their role in the first year, more than double of any previous administration. 34 also represents the average number of days before a new White House employee realises they’ve made a mistake accepting a job in the White House.
Non-stop firings pose a recruitment challenge for the Trump administration. Favourite for the post of Communications Director, Tony Sayegh, is now thought to be seriously considering a more secure role at Little Caesars.
A source close to Sayegh explained: “Tony wants a job he’ll still be at a month from now you know. He’s got kids to think about.”
Wendy’s Assistant Manager Keith Grenham said: “In 14 months they’ve had more unqualified leave than a Trump University graduation ceremony”.
“People get fired before their feet are under the desk,” noted the veteran employee who has previously served at Pizza Hut, KFC and Burger King in the past four months.
With rumours of more high-profile departures planned, Mr Grenham insisted he wouldn’t let this government flip burgers let alone run the country.
‘You want fries with that?’
Doris Earle, an Arizona McDonald’s Shift Manager, said: “I don’t know how anyone remembers people’s names. My drive-thru cashier has been in a job longer than that Scaramucci guy, and I still can’t remember his name. Juan or Julian or Julio something.”
“Anyway, won’t matter for much longer if he’s late again!”
The Shift Manager was certain there was low morale at the White House. “If you value job satisfaction that’s the last place I’d want to be,” she said while drafting a new “Help Wanted: Cashier” job description.
“For an organisation to work properly, people need to be in a role longer than a McRib promotional period.”
Despite her criticism, Ms Earle did offer a role to anyone leaving the White House looking for a job that comes with better long-term prospects.
“Our hiring process is much tougher than the White House though.”
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