NEW YORK – Illuminati leadership have announced they will take a month-long break from covertly controlling world events to let things play out on their own for a bit.
High ranking members of the organisation admitted the effort of perpetuating an all-pervasive Judeo-Masonic conspiracy establish total world domination was “starting to take its toll”.
Sources indicate the decision to take a break came during a scheduled meeting to decide which musicians would be ritualistically murdered in the coming year.
One world holiday
The absence would see plans to usher in a new world order temporarily halted to allow personal time before returning to resume exerting silent control over political, banking, and entertainment circles.
The Zionist cabal highlighted recent “sloppy work” in Egypt and Lady Gaga’s career as evidence that time off was needed. “While it’s generally in our interest to continue using our considerable wealth and political power to rule over every aspect of your life without your knowledge,” said financier Gregory Rothschild, “I think we’ve all been feeling a little overworked recently.”
Illuminati are confident the break will allow its members time to “recharge our batteries” as well as pursue other passions as “undermining the natural order of things leave us with hardly any time for the small things in life.
”It has been acknowledged the break would “almost certainly” push back the organisation’s plans to orchestrate World War III, but only by “a month or two” according to political advisor Julian Krupp.
Krupp said the break was needed especially when considering some members hadn’t stopped work to prop up competing political and economic systems as a way to divide and conquer the world in years.
“Everyday it’s ‘we have to overthrow this government’ or ‘crash this country’s economy’ – it never stops around here.”
‘Be right back’
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke backed the move after being called by Illuminati officials and told he would be on his own for several weeks.
Bernanke, along with other banking executives and world leaders, admitted it would be interesting to see what happens without the influence of a shadowy, pervasive force for once.
In case of emergency, Illuminati administrators say an 0800 number would be left for politicians or musicians that found himself in desperate situations in their absence.
Though they were quick to caution the number should be used in a “real emergencies” such as the threat of political overthrow or falling album sales.
Leave a Reply