WASHINGTON D.C – The Voyager 1 spacecraft has uncovered trace amounts of Kanye West in interstellar space on a planet light years away.
According to scientists at NASA’s jet propulsion laboratory, Voyager’s instruments show it has moved beyond the bubble of hot gas from our solar system’s sun and into the hot gas emitted from the rapper-turned-walking ego Kanye West.
Launched in 1977, Voyager 1 is the first man-made object to make it past the solar system other than Kanye West’s ego.
Bound 2 be from another planet
Earlier this year, NASA discovered the Voyager 1 probe had left the solar system and has now found evidence Kanye West may have originated from a planetary body 11,625 million miles from Earth.
Experts say this matches the current distance between Kanye West and anything that could be described as reality, further corroborating Voyager’s findings.
Evidence that the hip-hop star was on another planet began mounting after he released a line of blank t-shirts priced at $120 and released a borderline delusional music video featuring the worst green screen work since Sir Mix-A-Lot announced his love for big butts.
“We have long suspected Mr West was not of this planet,” said Ed Stone, chief scientist at NASA, “But now we have solid scientific evidence to back up our theory he is on a planet far, far away.”
Major discovery
It’s thought Voyager’s had been indicated for some time that its local environment had changed. Ed Stone recalls “getting the usual carbon readings” but that lately seeing “elevated levels of nitrogen, oxygen and argon at temperatures much higher than one would expect under normal circumstances.“
“We compared that with samples of hot air taken from the time Mr West interrupted Taylor Swift at the VMA Awards and found the results remarkably consistent.”
The data from Voyager could solve one of the biggest mysteries within the scientific community and pretty much any community that has heard Kanye West say words for longer than five minutes.
“Scientifically it’s a major milestone, but also historically in that we’ve never seen an artist spout so much nonsense as Kanye in the history of artists spouting nonsense.”
“But we can now answer the question we’ve all been thinking about: ‘just what planet is Kanye West on?’ Not this one.”
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