LONDON – The following is a recovered 1995 memo from HMV to its employees in response to the emergence of “The Internet”.
Fellow HMV staffers,
By now you have no doubt heard of a new technology being talked about in all the magazines known as “The Internet”, which so-called business experts are calling a potential threat to our existence as a viable retail business.
Some of you may even have “The Internet” installed in your homes and are worried that these so-called experts are onto something.
Well, they are not. And on behalf of the executive board I am sending this memorandum to calm any fears you may have.
Put simply, “The Internet” is a fad that will pass.
I have personally led a team to investigate the potential of the “The Internet” and once I was able to connect my modem and log into my AOL account what I saw was frankly laughable.
The Internet is slow, cumbersome and pictures of Pamela Anderson take far too long to load for it to ever be useful.
The idea that “The Internet” will have a material effect on our business is as unlikely as a black president.
It just won’t happen.
Why? Because the consumer sees travelling long distances to a crowded store where their music preference is openly judged by a random teenager with an attitude as an integral part of the music buying experience.
“The Internet” will simply not develop the commercial maturity to rival that.
If that wasn’t enough, we also provide an literal abundance of music choice across several formats including vinyl, CD and cassette tape.
And with the newly released MiniDisc format, we are well prepared to combat any future threat to our business, real or imagined.
If “The Internet” was such a powerful force that will bring businesses like ours to its knees, well may it strike me down right now.
Nothing. See, this “The Internet” is just another overhyped invention that will fade into the background like Vanilla Ice’s rap career – which we have just restocked across all stores.
HMV is as safe a business as Tower Records, Blockbuster or Woolworths. Maybe safer.
So. What does this mean for you?
First and foremost. You’re jobs are safe and will always be. No one is going anywhere.
Secondly. Brick and mortar is a business model that has worked since the 70s. It’s certainly been around longer than some “The Internet” fad.
Lastly. Never forget that we are HMV. A national treasure the British people will never turn their backs on, like Hugh Grant films or Jimmy Saville.
So you can relax. Everything will be fine.
Yours Truly,
Alan Giles on behalf of HMV Group executive board
Sent from: Head shaped hole in the sand.
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