VIRGINIA – The US National Rifle Association have cautioned the rest of the world for attempting to link gun to gun violence when “we can’t see any connection whatsoever.”
NRA officials said they failed to understand how an incident in which 27 people were tragically gunned down could be related to a frank and honest discussion about the thing the gunman used to carry out the violence.
“We just don’t see how the two are connected. Is this some kinda riddle or what?”
Head scratcher
NRA president Wayne LaPierre said they first noticed the pattern after mass shooting in Columbine when the murder of 13 people lead to a nationwide discussion on gun control.
“Every time something like this happens people want to bring up gun control. I’m sorry, we just don’t see what the connection is,” said LaPierre.
“The same thing happened after Virginia Tech and come to think of it, not long after the Aurora shooting too. What gives?”
According to inside sources, the association is now concerned that talk about guns in the media might prematurely link a sequence of senseless mass shootings with the availability of thing made to shoot people.
“Look, we just don’t want to rush into to any conclusions here,” warned gun advocate and NRA member Buck Riley. “Personally I don’t think anyone could say for sure how much of a role guns played in these incidents, if at all.”
“Who really know what causes anything these days huh?”
He also admitted he has yet to see the Sandy Hook school incident due to shooting out his television in a failed attempt to operate it after losing the remote.
‘Are we missing something?’
As the nation comes to terms with the tragic consequences of one man’s actions, NRA officials said the push to discuss gun violence so close to an incident of gun violence was “not the right time.”
However, in an attempt to appease concerned individuals, LaPierre promised to check the NRA calendar for a date when it would be ok to discuss the issue.
“Maybe next Tuesday. No wait, we have rifle practise that day.”
“Let’s see here…maybe next Saturday? No…that’s bring your extra gun to gun club day.”
“Um…We’ll get back to you on that.”
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