SANTA’S WORKSHOP – Christmas plans have been thrown into turmoil after Blitzen, Dancer, Prancer and other reindeer threatened Santa with strike action on December 24th.
The move was announced after the Sleigh Puller’s Union voted 8-1 in favour of a Christmas Eve fly out in protest over pay during the holiday period.
News of a potential strike is a major blow to children who have been nice all year round and could also affect deliveries of coal to naughty children.
11th hour chaos
Pundits have speculated the disagreement could see key reindeer leave in favour of rival Amazon as “Santa isn’t the only gig in town when it comes to overnight delivery.”
Although strike action has been threatened before, this is the first time the 5-4 majority needed has been met after Donner, Prancer and Dancer gave their support to the movement.
“Last year was a nightmare,” moaned Dancer. “It used to be children wanted something simple, and light.”
“Now every kid and his dog wants more and more and that means we’re being worked harder for nothing.”
The union is demanding triple pay, a comprehensive health plan and a wider variety of grasses and shrubs in the cafeteria.
“Everyone is getting pay rises around here but us,” said Prancer as he highlighted the cause of unrest.
“There are elves coming to the workshop in Ferraris with snow tires. What about us? We’re pulling this damn sleigh around the world, but my cheque looks the same as it did in the 50s.”
“This isn’t just about money,” said Donner who has had several surgeries for work related injuries. “You try pulling this many toys around in a single night.”
‘No more’
Rudolph has been the only vote against strike action and the Red Nosed Reindeer refused to comment on the situation.
“Pffh, that sell out!” Blasted Blitzen. “Since he became the lead reindeer he stopped caring about the rest of us. We should’ve never let him join our reindeer games.”
Many children are now left with the sobering prospect of cancelling Christmas if the strike was not halted.
An angry Sarah Collins, five, labelled both sides as “poopyheads” and called on them to settle their dispute so she could get the pony she ordered from Santa.
Despite the backlash from those who still believed in Santa, the reindeer look set to dig their hoofs in.
“We’re not budging,” confirmed Blitzen before crying: “No pay. No sleigh!”
Leave a Reply