Americans Avoid Fiscal Cliff By Throwing Congress Over Actual Cliff
In an unexpected resolution, Americans have agreed an 11th hour deal to solve the country’s economic problems by pushing members of congress over an actual cliff.
Month: December 2012
Government Calls on Santa to Get More Poor Children on Nice List
The government has called on Santa Claus to get more children from poorer backgrounds on to the Nice List after this year’s delivery of presents.
Santa’s Reindeer Call For Christmas Eve Strike Over Pay
Christmas Eve plans have been thrown into turmoil after Blitzen, Dancer, Prancer and other reindeer threatened Santa with strike action on December 24th.
Every Weather Reporter on Earth Forecasting Cloud With Chance of Fireballs
Local weather reporters across the planet have advised their viewers to prepare for an outbreak of dark cloud followed by falling fire from the sky and the likely end of the world.
David Cameron Calls For Leveson To Add “Slap on the Wrist” Clause To Report
David Cameron has called for a slap on the wrist amendment to the list of laws recommended in the Leveson Report into media ethics.
Pope To Further Reach Out To Young People By Skipping Christmas Mass
Following his arrival to Twitter, the Pope has outlined plans to double down on his efforts to reach young people by skipping this year’s Christmas Mass ceremony.
“We Still Don’t See The Link Between Guns and Gun Violence” Say NRA
The US National Rifle Association have cautioned the rest of the world for attempting to link gun to gun violence when “we can’t see any connection whatsoever.”
Government Ditches Web Surveillance Plans, Uses Facebook Instead
Relenting to public outcry, David Cameron announced the government will ditch controversial web surveillance plans and just friend people on Facebook instead.
Attack Submarine Recalled After Targeting George Osborne As National Threat
The Royal Navy’s £1.2 billion attack submarine has been recalled after mistakenly targeted George Osborne as a threat to the nation following his Autumn Statement.
End Times #1 Excuse Given By Men Who Haven’t Begun Christmas Shopping
A recent consumer survey suggests the Mayan doomsday prophecy is now the number one reason men everywhere have still not begun their Christmas shopping.