DOHA – The world’s foremost climate change experts have warned the hot air produced from ongoing global warming talks has now become the leading cause of global warming.
The grim warning comes during the latest talks between leading nations which is expected to release an estimated 12 gigatons of hot air into the atmosphere over the next two weeks.
It’s understood that current global warming talks in Doha alone could be responsible for a 2-4C increase in global temperatures.
Tipping point
This startling discovery follows on from new analysis by the World Meteorological Organisation that says the amount of hot air released into the atmosphere reached a record high after the Kyoto agreement in 1997.
The impact of these gases has already been significant, says the WMO, causing a 30% increase of the warming effect on the climate between 1997 and 2011.
If the latest evidence is to be believed, hot air from climate change discussions has leaped-frogged global vehicle emissions and the hot air from rappers when they talk about the number of homicides they’ve committed to become the leading cause of man-made global warming.
Experts believe at the current rate of meaningless talks, global temperatures would surpass an alarming 6C with the current century. “This is very simple case of cause and effect,” describes professor Bruce Jennings.
“When politicians make elaborate promises to cut emissions, they immediately begin emitting hot air.”
“The more they talk about targets they have no intention of keeping, more hot air is released.”
“After a point, the hot air traps an increasing amount of the sun’s rays within the planet’s atmosphere thus causing an increase in temperature we feel on the ground.”
“It’s simple science.”
‘Swift action is needed’
Titled Action on Emission 2012, the international scientific report says that without immediate action excessive hot air will be the equivalent of 58 gigatons of carbon dioxide per year by 2020.
Indeed, the effects of global warming caused by empty promises about cutting carbon emissions could eventually grow so severe that some locations become “increasingly marginal as places to live.”
However, many politicians have rejected the new findings, saying they would continue making arbitrary promises to reduce emissions until they saw some “real evidence” that hot air was a major contributor to global warming.
“Now we can’t make empty promises about climate change?!” Blasted Prime Minister David Cameron.
“I already cycle to work. What more to these people want from us?!”
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