BOSTON – Mitt Romney has suffered a major setback ahead of the presidential debates after a crushing defeat to Magic 8-Ball forced him to call short a warm up debate session.
Facing questions on popular election issues, Romney answered by judging which string of words were most favourable in that given moment, and the Magic 8-Ball answered by being shaken vigorously for five seconds.
Observers say the fortune-telling toy proved much more consistent with its answers.
Tough opponent
This was the first time Mitt Romney had debated against a candidate filled with this much alcoholic substance since Rick Perry, and he looked uncomfortable again as the spherical object began pulling ahead in polling on a range of international and domestic issues.
A focus group of voters said the cold, hollow and inanimate candidate came off far worse than the Magic 8-Ball in many areas. It went on to trounce the former Massachusetts governor with a string of clear affirmative responses in comparison to Romney’s vague non-answers.
One example came when asked whether he would release his tax returns if elected president. Mitt Romney could only reply “cannot predict now”.
“You could tell he was struggling up there,” recalled campaign manager Matt Rhoades who ended the session. “We had to do something. He was getting his ass handed to him by Magic 8-Ball.”
News of the pre debate loss is a major setback for and Romney’s campaign managers have already cancelled further warm up sessions against more formidable opponents such as Apple’s Siri.
‘Outlook not so good’
Romney himself remained optimistic, suggesting that while he “wasn’t as eloquent as I could have been,” he could improve on what he saw as his only weakness in his debate performance: answering simple yes-no questions on basic elements of his policies.
However, those who watched the proceedings were less enthusiastic about his chances.
“I felt Magic 8-Ball came across more credible,” explained one participant, Sue Baker, who scored the black and white plastic ball ahead by 11 points before the session was called to an end.
Another onlooker felt the Magic 8-Ball was “more concise, empathetic to human interests and showed a lot of personality on stage in comparison to Romney.”
Texas native Derek Rogers, explained: “It had Romney beat on a lot of the big issues. I came out of this a big supporter of the vision Magic 8-Ball has for this country.”
“Mitt could really learn from this guy.”
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