Chelsea Eye Mark Clattenburg As Future Club Captain After Racist Remarks
Following allegations of racist comments towards a player, Chelsea insiders suggest the club are “definitely interested” in making Mark Clattenburg a future club captain.
Month: October 2012
Barack Obama Gives Predator Drone To Every Audience Member In Debate
The third presidential debate saw a stunning surprise as Barack Obama announced every single audience member would be getting their own predator drone to take home.
Oldest Undeciphered Text “May Be First Ever Terms of Service Agreement”
Researchers have indicated that the world’s oldest undeciphered text could be the first recorded instance of a Term of Service agreement.
President Obama’s Use of Facts, Math May Put Off Voters Say Experts
Political analysts have warned President Obama’s use of facts and math risks alienating voters and could cost him the 2012 election.
Lance Armstrong Supporters Placed on Endangered Species List
People who still believe in Lance Armstrong have been listed as an endangered species after a recent outbreak of a USADA doping report.
Jimmy Savile Charity to Change Name to “Jack the Ripper Trust”
The Jimmy Savile Charitable Trust has looked to avoid controversy by changing its name to the “Jack the Ripper Charitable Trust”.
David Blaine to Watch Last Three Adam Sandler Movies
In his latest display of extreme endurance, David Blaine has revealed he will watch the last three Adam Sandler movies back to back to back.
47% of Seasame Street Live for Welfare: Open Letter From Mitt Romney
The following is an open letter sent by Mitt Romney defending the comments he made towards the publicly funded children’s education shows Sesame Street.
Barack Obama Declares Local Dry Cleaner Enemy Combatant After Bad Service
Barack Obama has taken an unprecedented step in the War on Terror by declaring a local dry cleaner a terrorist organisation after losing multiple items of the president’s clothing.
Mitt Romney Crushed By Magic 8-Ball in Debate Warm Up
Mitt Romney has suffered a major setback ahead of the presidential debates after a crushing defeat to Magic 8-Ball forced him to call short a warm up debate session.