EU Demand Greece Eat Pig Anus to Secure Next Installment of Bailout
In a move to toughen financial regulations, Eurozone finance ministers have demanded Greece eat pig anus in order to secure future bailout payments.
Month: September 2012
Romney Unveils New Campaign Message: “I Was Kidding This Whole Time”
In a move to win over increasingly sceptical voters, Mitt Romney has unveiled his new campaign message to the voting public : “I was just fooling with you guys”.
Terry Retires From International Team To Spend More Time Philandering
John Terry has announced his decision to retire from international football in order to prolong his domestic philandering career.
Apple Hails iPhone 5 As Revolution In Faking Enthusiasm
Following the announcement of the company’s latest phone, CEO Tim Cook has hailed the iPhone 5 as a “revolution” in faking enthusiasm for a consumer electronics product.
Shock As Child Asks Parents: “Where Does The War In Afghanistan Come From?”
According to reports, extended 9/11 coverage has led to an increase in young children asking their parents: “Mom, dad. Where does the war in Afghanistan come from?”
9/11 Anniversary: Bin Laden Dead, But Charlie Sheen Still Out There
Barack Obama has warned the American people to stay vigilant, reminding the nation that although Osama Bin Laden may be dead “Charlie Sheen is still out there.”
Nick Clegg Joins West Ham on Season Long Loan
A surprise deadline day transfer has seen Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg leave the coalition government and sign for West Ham United on a season long loan.
Paralympics: Oscar Pistorius Tests Positive For Sour Grapes
In sad news for athletics, Paralympic Runner Oscar Pistorius has tested positive for the banned substance Sour Grapes.
Cannabis Smokers Run Risk of Running Out of Cheesy Puffs, Study Finds
Young people who smoke cannabis run the risk of a significant and irreversible shortage of Cheesy Puffs and other snack foods, research suggests.