Liverpool Sign Samsung Fridge Freezer As Andy Carroll Replacement
In a decisive move to prove cover in attack following the departure of Andy Carroll, Liverpool have bought a Samsung model fridge freezer from Currys.
Month: August 2012
Florida in Storm Alert As Republican Convention Hits
Locals are being told to “prepare for the worst” on the back of news the Republican National Convention taking place in Florida is continuing to gather speed.
NASA To Land Second Curiosity Rover On Jersey Shore
Following the start of Mars Curiosity Rover’s search for evidence of life, NASA have announced the subsequent launch of a second Rover to the set of Jersey Shore.
Olympics Inspire Nation to Walk Instead of Drive to McDonald’s
After two weeks of watching athleticism of the highest order, millions of Olympic enthusiasts have been inspired to walk to their nearest McDonald’s instead of driving.
Failing A-Level Students Happy To Avoid £9000 Tuition Fees
Thousands of below average students are said to be “ecstatic” to have avoided paying £9000 in tuition fees by receiving D grades and below.
Barack Obama Announces The Death of Waldo
In a dramatic late night press conference, President Barack Obama has announced the death of Waldo after years in hiding.
Bank of England Use Fifa Ranking Formula to Show Economy Growing at 98%
The Bank of England has increased its growth forecast from 0.8% to approximately 98% since employing the same formula Fifa uses to rank international football teams.
Olympics: Incredible Hulk Protests Innocence Amid Doping Controversy
The Incredible Hulk is fighting to save his reputation after being accused of taking performance enhancing substances during the London Olympics.
Microsoft Expect Hotmail Facelift Will Bring User Numbers Back Above 10
Microsoft have announced the latest revamp to its Hotmail service is expected to bring the free web mail clients users base up to “ten or more people at least.”
Emergency Troops To Fill Empty Spaces on London Underground
The British government has confirmed it will look into reports of empty seats on the London Underground which has left locals without a convenient excuse to arrive late to work.