UNITED KINGDOM – In a bid to improve standards of primary school education students will now be graded against tougher exam questions, like how Big Brother has reached season number 13.
A revised national curriculum would require children aged five to ten to have a firm grasp of number bonds, addition, subtraction, and how the reality show has been able to stay on air for 7 + 5 seasons.
The Department of Education was convinced the move would prepare children for the real world as “these are questions that desperately need answering.”
Higher standards
The decision was backed by the Association of Teachers and Lecturers president Andy Brown who insisted “having young children engaging in complex practical problem of great consequence like how this show has managed more than 3 seasons will intellectually challenge them like never before.”
Primary school classes will also be questioned on other difficult subjects like calculating the number of box office flops M Night Shyamalan will make before calling it a day.
Authorities say the new tougher standard would not only test student’s numerical ability, but also their logical reasoning skills.
The new focus is likely to produce numerical problems like “If a show featuring 16 attention seeking individuals placed in 1 house for 2 months peaked 8 years ago, why is it still being broadcast in 2012 on Channel 5 after already being dropped by Channel 4?”
The changes will require students to make a significant jump in cognitive ability to keep pace with the updated syllabus.
“We used ta…umm…do spelling but now we do harder things like quick maths and working out why 16 people can’t find a better way to earn a living with hundreds of jobs availables,” said one child.
When asked to provide an answer to the latter, he replied: “Err…Umm…I don’t know that one yet” before smiling innocently.
Challenging exercises
However, some insiders have questioned the jump in difficulty after admitting not knowing the answer to the Big Brother sample question.
“I can’t even figure that one out,” said maths teacher Lindsay Smith. “For us to ask these kinds of questions of seven year old does seem a bit much if you ask me.”
Mrs Smith went on to suggest that rather than requiring children to grasp advanced concepts like why the show continues to be renewed, they should start with simpler subjects like quantum algebra.
“I’m all for raising standards, but we don’t want to push the young ones too far at such an early stage.”
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