ENGLAND – The head of HR at Church of England has confirmed all priests are being encouraged to attend a range of workshops to explain the difference between performing one’s religious duty and sexually abusing children.
The initiative follows an internal survey that showed a significant proportion of priest could not differentiate between reading scriptures and touching 10-year-olds. A six week course should mitigate concerns that the recent “do not touch the kids” message may have not yet hit home with all of the Church’s employees.
Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams said the establishment of the workshops was a big step to ensuring that fellow priests treat this matter with the same seriousness as a traffic violation.
Sexual Abuse Awareness Training
Church officials backed the move and believe the volunteer programme will be especially beneficial to the few who have yet to fully grasp the importance of allowing under age Church members to go a whole day without having another man’s genitals shoved in their faces, according to programme director Ann Withers.
“These sessions will be about educating attendees on how to re-frame the problem in another context so they can fully come to terms with the need to adjust their actions within a Church setting.”
Mrs Withers went on to say: “One example we use is the supermarket. You wouldn’t force yourself on an unknown child in the frozen foods aisle, so we don’t do it in the Church aisle – that sort of thing.”
5 steps to a molestation-free day
Commenting on previous instances of child molestation, the head of HR said: “We understand it’s an easy mistake to make so we need to explain to priests in our organisation that haven’t quite make the distinction between loving all God’s children – which is good, and just loving children – which is not so good.”
Mrs Withers emphasised with priests and suggested the Bible could be less suggestive in places. “Who among us hasn’t read ‘Love thy neighbour’ and felt the need to force our genitals on a child?”
In a sign the scheme was already getting results, one priest was optimistic the course would provide the help he needed and highlight the “Supermarket scenario” as just one of the many useful tips.
“The session went really well,” said priest Scott Lemington. “I’m just looking to get back to work fiddling kids–no wait! I meant spreading the word of God. Spreading the word of God. Sorry, it’s only been one session.”
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