ATHENS – In a dramatic 11th hour decision, Greece have chosen to decline the latest EU bailout and will instead opt to borrow money from Wonga.com.
The resolution was passed an overwhelming majority of Greece’s governing coalition who agreed the terms to secure a new financial rescue package would be more favourable with the short term loan website.
A spokesman for Wonga.com confirmed the money could be deposited into Greece’s central bank within minutes of their online application.
Sound economic decision
The shock move came after extended talks and multiple online comparisons. The change in direction will also give the country the flexibility to put off repayments until their next pay day.
Speaking in Parliament following the last minute vote, Geek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos credited Finance Minister Evangelos Venizelos for making use of moneysupermarket.com to discover they could get a better deal on borrowing money elsewhere.
“Mr Venizelos has done his country a great service today,” said the Prime Minister before holding out his thumb and index held together. “We were this close to confirming the terms of the EU bailout, we have truly dodged a bullet.”
“It came down to deciding whether we wanted to repay the money at a rate of 4165 per cent, or let our country be run by Angela Merkel.”
With an APR of over 4,000 per cent, Papademos admitted “the repayment terms are horrendous,” but pointed out that they were still better than the financial package offered by Germany.
Shopping around
Mr Venizelos said how the process “couldn’t be simpler,” and indicated he would not hesitate to recommend the service to other EU countries struggling with crippling national debts.
“It’s all fully automated. We can simply move the first slider to the amount of money we need to keep our country running [approx €180billion] and move the second slider to set how long we want it for [a generation].”
Indeed, Papademos confessed his only regret was his predecessor’s failure to make use of Wonga.com in 2010 and with the debt crisis solved has now turned his attention to growing the countries cash reserves.
“I have seen many websites that will allow us to earn €500 a day without leaving the house.”
“With all these opportunities, I don’t know how we got into financial problems in the first place.”
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