LONDON – The Metropolitan police force have confirmed their search for Mary Poppins remains ongoing, days after gale force winds gripped much of the country.
Ms Poppins was last seen attempting to leave Seventeen Cherry Tree Lane before reportedly being caught up on “unusually strong west winds” of up to 70mph.
Known for favouring wind powered travel, the English nanny was understood to have narrowly missed a falling tree before being carried off at the mercy of treacherous weather conditions.
After 72 hours with no contact, a missing person’s report was filed.
‘She could be anywhere by now’
Mr George Banks retold the moment he tried to stop her from travelling in such dangerous conditions.
“I tried telling her it was too windy but she can be so damn stubborn sometimes. ‘I can handle a little wind’ she said.”
“Well, she made it as far as the end of the road with that umbrella of hers before she was blown sideways like a rag doll and that was it. We haven’t seen her since.”
Having recently taught the Banks’ children on the importance of “listening when one is speaking”.
Officials conducting the search have been reminded they could not afford not get caught up in the irony of the circumstances and needed to concentrate on the task at hand.
Largely unmoved by the situation, Mrs Winifred Banks claimed her children were now “running amok” and has resorted to searching the Yellow Pages for a replacement child minder.
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A police spokesman was practical in his outlook: “Usually it’s the first 24 hours that are crucial to any search, but we’re still hopeful Mary will turn up,” admitted Jeremy Barkley, who also called on the public for any positive sign that could lead to the safe discovery of Ms Poppins.
“A call, letter, a previously dysfunctional family whose life was miraculously turned around. If you’re out there Mary just give us a sign.”
With severe weather warnings due to cover the whole of Britain by the end of the week, the Met Office have extended their travel warning to all characters capable of magically powered flight.
“We have these warnings for a reason,” said meteorologist Cathy Baker.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re in a car, plane or some kind of magical umbrella. When we say it’s too windy for safe travel, it’s too damn windy.”
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