GEORGIA – Republican presidential nominee Herman Cain has come under more scrutiny after critics compared his plans for US defense to the original Command & Conquer video game.
The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza previously outlined his military strategy as president would be “to select all available units and click repeatedly on the enemy” – a policy popular with the old school real-time strategy game.
Herman Cain has already had to fight of “ridiculous accusations” that his 999 tax plan closely mirrored Sim City 4’s default tax settings.
There were also rumors that his plan for boosting American agriculture had been lifted from Farmville.
‘I don’t even play video games’
Titled the ‘select-attack-win’ plan, Herman Cain believed it would drastically simplify military operations to a level that even novices could understand.
He denied the similarities and brushed off comparisons to the popular ‘90s real time strategy game as ‘coincidental’.
Mr Cain was confident his “super-simple” strategy for defending American interest both home and abroad would be accepted by the US military.
“It’s very simple,” he explained. “Imagine we’re in conflict with Iran. With my ‘select-attack-win’ plan in place we would just gather all available troops stationed in the surrounding areas and march them in the most direct path possible to Ahmedinejad’s door.”
The GOP front-runner did conceded that a disproportionate number of lives would be lost, “but they could be respawned for the next mission.”
His explanation raised eyebrows further when an internal document from the Cain campaign stated a goal of “ensuring the enemy gave up all its Tiberium” and contingencies that included “restarting wars until the desired outcome was achieved.”
Simplified strategy
Military experts appeared to agree with criticisms. General David Petraeus said he held “serious reservations” that the plan would stand up against more experienced nations, suggesting that such tactics would only be effective against “noob countries”.
But Herman Cain has continued to defend the viability of the ‘select-attack-win’ plan, which he said would lead to wars that lasted “moments, not decades.”
Mr Cain remained confident that attacking foreign combatants before they got a chance to build their defenses would lead to military dominance.
“Yes the enemy will see us coming, but our overwhelming numbers would make us impossible to stop and we would win wars just like that,” he proclaimed while snapping his fingers.
“Think of the money we would save with short wars. That’s the ‘select-attack-win’ plan right there.”
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