COMPTON – A damning new study has revealed Caucasians applicants to be “woefully under-represented” within gangs across poor cities, with nearly three-quarters of top gang roles held by black men.
Commissioned by the International Hood Watch Foundation (IHWF), the findings are said to show “clear evidence” that urban gangs across the country are subjecting potential applicants to racial profiling.
Just one glaring statistic showed that 89% of gang affiliates promoted to high-ranking positions in the last two decades where from underprivileged African-American families.
The report also uncovered a surprising drop in the number of snitches staying in a job for longer than six months.
Shocking statistics
Executive director of the IHWF Brenda Rogers admitted that she had not seen such obvious bias towards one colour since she last played Roulette.
“We’re not surprised the hiring policy of our nation’s top gangs are now under serious fire,” she said. “There is clearly still a lot of work to be done to achieve ethnic equality in this industry.”
Dion “Shank ’em” Jones – managing director of the South Central LA division of the Crips – strenuously denied allegations of discrimination and defended his policy of recruiting the “toughest motherfu*kers this side of an NWA album” no matter the applicant’s ethnic background.
However, with the country facing challenging employment conditions, Republican members of Congress have been quick to rally against the gangs in the study from a safe distance.
“These thugs are job killers,” said Senator Mitch McConnell who said jobs were being denied to an entire section of the potential market.
“They’re probably people killers too, but it’s the first one we’re really angry about.”
Unfair advantage
Majority House leader Eric Cantor was less restrained in his criticism of gang hiring practises which he labelled in no uncertain terms as racial profiling: “They’re all black! Everyone of them, and you’re trying to tell me there’s not a problem here?!”
As a result, leading GOP House member are to draft legislation calling for a gang quota that would see the workforce made up of more well-off white individuals. “The ones that are really suffering,” according to Mr Cantor.
The plan was rejected by the nations leading gangs as “political correctness run wild.”
“Yo, we employ just like everyone else,” insisted Mr Jenkins. “I check previous work history, references, lack of education and criminal record to accurately judge who’s the best applicant for the role. It’s not about race.”
Why are you allowed to publish such ignorant bullshit.