HELL – In news that has set the publishing world aflame, Satan is said to be ‘super pissed’ after learning former Vice President Dick Cheney failed to credit him in his newly released memoirs.
There are now reports of conflict between the two parties after a public complaint was made by Satan, who believes that many moments described in the book “can clearly be traced back to me.”
The manifestation of evil said he was surprised to not find a single tip of the hat to himself or the work he had done with Mr Cheney.
“Honestly, I was completely taken aback,” said the Prince of Darkness. “A lot of this book describes initiatives in which I played a pivotal role in but it seems Dick chose not to give me proper credit for any of it.”
‘I just want to know why’
“Iraq, waterboarding, shooting innocent people? Dick didn’t come up with all those ideas on his own. Sure he had George, but let’s face it…he was never the sharpest knife in the drawer.”
Aides to the former Vice President were also said to be surprised at the omission as many told of the close relationship the two had during the definitive years of the Cheney-Bush presidency.
“I’m just as shocked as anyone that Satan wasn’t mentioned – I feel kind of bad for him you know,” said Caroline Summers who recalls seeing the two entered into private discussions on numerous occasions within the White House.
“They were real close, so I can’t think way Mr Cheney would have left his out…it must has been a typo?”
Despite the apparent snub, Satan did admit book was a great read, “I just wish he had taken the time to acknowledge the part I played.”
Credit where credit is due
Satan also expressed disappointment that he was not approached to pen a foreword in the book.
“I don’t want to come across as a drama queen, but it’s just nice to get some recognition once in a while. I put a lot of work into that relationship.”
Hope that despite the oversight the two could maintain their professional relationship and made a note to “mention it to him when we next speak.”
Mr Cheney has yet to comment on the situation, but had earlier stated his intention to put the proceeds from the book’s sale into the purchase of a new soul to replace the one he broke in 2003.
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