Local Man Mugged as New York Returns To Normal After Storm
A local shopkeeper has been assaulted during the course of a robbery in one of many encouraging reports suggesting life is returning to normal following Tropical Storm Irene.
Month: August 2011
Ashton Kutcher ‘To Replace Colonel Gaddafi In Libya’
Multiple reports out of Tripoli have indicated that former Punk’d star Ashton Kutcher is in ‘late stage’ talks to replace Colonel Gaddafi as leader of Libya.
Arsene Wenger Adamant Colonel Gaddafi “Doing Just Fine”
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has come out in support of Muammar Gaddafi, insisting that talk of crisis in Libya was ‘premature’.
“Actually, We Would Like To Continue Making Obama Miserable,” Say GOP
The Republican Party have announced their exit from the race for president to concentrate on making President Obama’s life miserable for another four years.
Al-Qaeda Unsuccessful In Bid to Get Tickets For 2012 Olympics
London Metropolitan Police have been given a major boost ahead of the 2012 Olympics after al-Qaeda failed to get any ‘decent’ tickets for the most popular events.
Africa To Send Peacekeeping Force To England
The African Union has confirmed it will send peacekeeping troops to ensure “these mindless savages” did not descend again into violence.
London Riots Brought to Halt After Mums Deployed To Streets
The rioting in the streets of London has been brought to an abrupt end after Metropolitan Police decided to deploy a squad of mothers to quell trouble-makers.
Fearful Refugees Continue To Flee Tottenham Violence
After violent scenes in the nation’s capital, scores of refugees continue to flee the North London area of Tottenham in efforts to seek safety and security.
China Scolds US For Bringing Home ‘Shameful’ Grades
China has launched an astonishing attack on the United States after it received ‘shameful’ grades in it’s latest credit rating report card.
Barack Obama Agrees Deal To Hand His Balls To Republicans
President Barack Obama says he has finally reached an agreement on the debt ceiling which will see Republican congressmen take full possession of his balls.