Murdoch Hailed For ‘Lying Through His Teeth’

ENGLAND – James Murdoch has been commended by senior executives at News Corp for upholding the company tradition of sticking to a pre-established narrative of events despite the presence of facts.

The chairman of News International was questioned during a parliamentary hearing in relation to  the phone hacking scandal and was praised for expertly circumnavigating questions seeking to determine whether he was aware of the practise – He was praised this steadfast adherence to ignoring the bits of the truth that would implicate him.

Company values

In a statement, Mr Murdoch said: “I stand by my testimony to the select committee,” adding that he would do so “even if the truth was staring me in the face, which in this case I could not say if I was aware that it was or not…I don’t know.”

He went on to declare he would not compromise the company values for something as insignificant as the telling of events as they actually happened.

“We at News Corp are trying to present a narrative that we did not know what was going on in our own company and that is what I am sticking to.”

“This company, the company my father built is not about to deviate from that so no.  I don’t know anything.”

He later mused: “What does ‘aware’ mean anyway?  Can one be truly aware that he is running a corrupt organisation that represents everything wrong in modern day capitalism?  Who knows.  Not me…I don’t know anything.”

‘Just like his old man’

The strategy has been a key component in of the organisation’s success and has been pioneered by a number of outlets in the Murdoch empire, most of all Fox News.

“We’re so proud of him here at Fox,” said long time anchor Sean Hannity.  “When asked a simple question, he provided an answer tailor made to fit with his predetermined narrative and did not waver for a second…he showed some real class.”

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes was confident that “should James keep circumventing the truth in favour of sticking to his narrative like he has been, the long term future of this company is in good hands.”

Elsewhere Rupert Murdoch has continued to insist that he does not recall having breakfast this morning and so could not be blamed for allegedly leaving dirty dishes in the sink.

“I’ll have to look in to that issue.  I’m sure the sink was clean when I left the house.”

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