GENEVA – A recent study from the World Health Organization has revealed a ‘substantial and worrying’ link between mobile phone use and talking much louder than you need to.
The WHO declared mobile phones to have the potential to cause unnecessarily high amplitude sound waves to be emitted when in use by those who had no awareness of their surroundings.
“We found that a certain subset of the population were highly susceptible to the condition in which we noted unnecessary elevation of the speaking voice,”claimed professor Helen Carter.
Her team lead several experiments all with the same sobering result: an increased risk of the medical condition known as ‘ignorant jerk syndrome’ (IJS).
‘Alarming correlation’
Professor Carter was now able to say with certainty that there is a strong link between mobile phone use and talking as if you are the only person in a one mile radius.
“We ran the study within a controlled group,” explained professor Carter. “As you can see, our phone user is utterly unaware of the amplitude of his voice right now despite the murderous looks from those around him.”
For many the findings have only confirmed what was already believed to be a serious problem.
Phone owner Jeff Randleson said: “I knew there was something wrong when this jackass started yammering on the phone in a quiet zone…a quiet zone! I guess since it’s a medical condition it’s not his fault though.”
Experts said things appeared to get worse the longer a phone was in use. In addition to elevated amplitude and pitch, test subjects also exhibited symptoms such as arm waving and sporadic outbursts of “HELLO?” and “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”
Chilling evidence
“In one test the condition got so bad our test subject was eventually punched in the face before we saw any reduction in symptoms.”
Perhaps the biggest fear was the potential effect on young children. One concerned mother said she had already limited her childrens’ phone use due to protect them from developing IJS.
The news was not all bad however as the team had advise for phone users concerned about possible health risks highlighted in the report.
In a press release, professor Carter stated, “we are still conducting additional research into the long-term prognosis, but for now it is important to take measures to reduce its affects such as using your inside voice when on the phone.”
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