NEW YORK – Glenn Beck is set to end his daily Fox News program this year after admitting that he has run out of things to compare to Hitler.
Glenn Beck said he initially took the job at Fox News in an attempt to persuade audiences that “everything, somehow is connected to Nazi Germany,” but inside sources are now suggesting “he may have reached the human limit on the number of scenarios that can be compared to rise of fascist dictatorship.”
Roger Ailes, CEO of Fox News said, “Glenn knows how this works. We give him an hour and he gives us a dozen comparisons between Obamacare and how Hitler killed a lot of Jewish people. If he’s not able to do that, we have to question the value of the show to the network.”
‘It’s all connected’
Mr Beck rose to fame in 2008, giving a voice to disaffected Americans deeply troubled by seeing a black president not being played by a television actor .
It’s also thought there was resentment from the network’s financial department for pushing the chalkboard budget “beyond any reasonable limits”.
“The whole point of these things is that you can wipe them off and start again. What does he need a dozen for? We’re not made of money.”
Offering a conciliatory tone, a Fox News statement read:
“The foundation of this network is built upon how many Stasi references we can conjure up to back our pro dictatorial regime comparison news initiative. Glenn knows this and is aware that he has fallen short of the expectations set by Fox News. This is not the end, but a chance for Glenn to address this failing and we hope he can bounce back with more Hitler references than ever before.”
End of the road
His last significant discovery of note, came when breaking the story that “George Soros, the price of gas, stamps and curly fries were connected to workers unions which in turn linked back to the acorn in my back yard which clearly has something to do with the rise in socialism that will set the stage for a takeover of American values by secular radical Islamists lead by a Marxist Muslim Communist president.”
“Is it just me that sees this?” questioned a tearful Beck while holding a Raggedy Ann doll upside down.
Executives are considering replacing his slot with an hour of attractive blondes drawing Hitler moustaches on life-sized photos of Barack Obama.
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