UK – The operation to implement the Libyan no-fly zone has left British armed forces are scrambling to construct a fleet of fighter jets, submarines and ammunition from Lego in efforts to support it’s military after recent budget cuts to equipment and personnel.
As a result of a reduction in military hardware, the government has been forced to import a ‘boatload’ of the colourful interlocking plastic bricks in efforts to manufacture the necessary equipment to continue being effective in an on-going military operation.
‘We will remain fully capable’
Defence analyst Charles Heyman noted earlier that cuts would leave Britain unable to carry out crucial operations without risking the lives of soldiers, a claim rubbished by PM David Cameron who was confident the country had enough Lego bricks to make up the slack created by public spending cuts.
“Obviously Charles is not aware of all the Legos we have in our possession,” he said following a meeting of the Government’s Cobra emergency committee – which stated that the primary task would be the procurement of ‘mission critical’ 2×4 Lego blocks.
“We’re working hard to supply our troops with all the Lego they’ll need in Libya,” Cameron later reiterated.
Britain’s involvement in the first stage of the strikes against Libya have been relatively limited thus far. If the operation were to drag on for months however, the country would be prepared to begin ‘Operation Red Brick, Yellow Brick‘ – manufacturing Lego bombers from a base in Legoland Berkshire.
Fun for all ages
The plan was not without criticism however, as it was pointed out that the Lego artillery may not withstand a fall of more than 20 feet on hard surface and Mr Heyman had genuine fears that pro-Gaddafi forces would be able to take British military equipment apart and construct a fortress to defend against further attacks, or worse.
“Could we live with ourselves if that monster began using British Lego against his own people?”
In a bid to ease fears, Defense secretary Liam Fox confirmed that the country would be contracting Lego experts from local nurseries to aid construction of ‘new and innovative’ military hardware such as two planes attached to each other to make a ‘super plane’.
A successful campaign could even lead to Lego being deployed in Afghanisatn, finally providing personnel with vital Lego supplies to construct much needed equipment such as helmets, helicopters, the Taj Mahal “or whatever the particulars of the situation called for.”
Leave a Reply