DOWNING STREET – Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has joined mounting international pressure calling for Nick Clegg to step down peacefully from his position as deputy prime minister before more ‘wanton ineffectiveness’ is spilled in the streets.
Nicknamed the ‘Dead Weight’ of the government, a loophole in democracy saw Nick Clegg complete an unlikely coup, rising from election loser to powerless co-leader overnight.
However, 2010 saw mass protests across many English territories as enraged demonstrators demanded he pay for his crimes of political impotence. The eclectic leader said yesterday: “I can blame Bin Laden for the mess I’m in. What the hell is his excuse?”
Colonel Gaddafi has been backed by leading international figures including United States President Barack Obama, who admitted that he also wasn’t sure what the purpose of Nick Clegg was. This after German Chancellor Angela Merkel confessed she had mistaken him for the help during her last visit to Downing Street.
‘Disconnected from reality’
The gravity of the situation is perhaps most starkly reflected in Clegg’s belief that his plan for voting reform will be taken seriously – further evidence of a man that is “way off the deep end,” according to Gaddafi.
Sanctions have been passed by the UN to increase pressure on Clegg, with measures ranging from avoiding his phone calls and automatically deleting his emails, to establishing a ‘no talk’ zone in his vicinity. Prime Minister David Cameron expressed his hope that “Nick would get the message soon enough.”
There could also be humanitarian intervention – a sit down with the Lib Dem leader to have a ‘frank and honest’ talk explaining that he is no longer serving any worthwhile purpose and should seriously consider packing it in.
Time to go
Additionally, military intervention has not been ruled out unless he could “demonstrate the value that he claimed to bring to the coalition in the very near future.”
Mr Cameron has already stated that while the situation was unfortunate, he wouldn’t stand in the way if someone where to ‘get rid’ of Nick Clegg.
Speaking via a translator, holding a bowling ball while wearing a multi-coloured clown wig, Gaddafi said: “I have heard Clegg speak a number of times and I think he has lost his mind. He is a man who has clearly lost grip on reality and is no longer able to acknowledge the facts around him. Everyday he stays against the will of the people, he loses more dignity and respect .”
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