NEW YORK CITY – A Goldman Sachs employee has become the first Wall Street banker to successfully communicate the fundamentals of trickle down economics to a mass audience by taking a leak on a homeless man outside his office building.
Frustrated by the lack of understand from the general public over the necessity of a trickle down economy, securities industry executive Adam Peterson gave a live demonstration of the theory in action with the help of Dom Perignon bought to celebrate his recent $118,250 bonus – illustrating why trickle down is so important to the prosperity of the wider population.
Waiting until his bladder was full, Mr Peterson is said to have left the building to urinate on an unnamed homeless man, explaining that the “champagne represents money and my bladder represents the upper class.”
Golden Lesson
He then carefully explained that “the process of filtration results in a by-product that showers out and onto the rest of society as represented by this homeless man I just met. It’s that simple.”
“You see, the nutrients in my urine helps this homeless man get the vitamins he simply cannot find through his meagre diet. He needs me to drink to excess so I can pass on the benefits. Plus, if this man wasn’t there, my urine would be hitting the wall, and that’s just a waste of good piss.”
He then shook off and went back to work.
‘Couldn’t have made it any clearer’
“The visual aid was really helpful,” said Brian Henson who was passing by in time to pick up the lesson. “When the homeless guy was begging him to stop, I really understood how it all works. The credit crunch, the bailout, the bonuses…all of it.”
Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein commended Mr Peterson’s ‘practical method of education’, saying that the stunt represented the clearest explanation of how grotesque sums of unearned money gathered by a small elite plays a crucial role in the economic prosperity of the wider nation.
This after a recent report showed Wall Street pay have risen to pre-crisis levels, making the public demonstration of the economic theory even more timely.
“Maybe if we had explained it like that much earlier, more people would have understood what was going on.”
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