TEXAS – An independent survey has shown that 71% of Sunday’s television audience believe the Super Bowl was completely ruined by the “bits in between the great commercials”.
Despite a strong line up of million-dollar commercials, broadcasters made the inexplicable decision to show footage of the Green Bay Packers win over Pittsburgh Steelers: a move that many believe threatened the sanctity that is the game of visual brand exploitation.
The sporadic display of athletic competition has been called a ‘black mark’ on the commercial showcase.
‘Disrespecting the game of advertising’
“What the hell was that about?” blasted one of many disgruntled viewers. “We tune in to see great offensive advertising, but they kept cutting to random footage of one guy throwing a ball 25 yards to another guy…they weren’t even selling anything!”
Officials were also forced to apologise for an apparent lapse in security that allowed so-called ‘real fans’ to enter the Cowboy Stadium before and during the event.
The disappointment was echoed by advertisers who agree that the Super Bowl is now at serious risk of becoming an under-commercialised shell of its true potential should it continue to be disrupted by four quarters of physical activity that serve no advertising purpose.
After announcing the franchise would investigate upon receiving a record number of complaints, Jeremy Cornell, an NFL spokesman said: “First off, we apologise unreservedly to our corporate partners. We don’t know who was responsible, but rest assured swift and firm punishment will be brought down whoever dropped the ball on this.”
Time and place
He also promised a return to the traditions of selling products people don’t need in the most expensively lavish way possible and will “minimise the amount of actual football that is shown.”
It is uncertain whether not the apology will be enough to make up for what was supposed to be a glorious day for capitalist prostitution.
“I don’t know where the game is going any more, I really don’t.” said despondent sports business analyst Duncan Smith. “You got guys out here playing their hearts out, putting their bodies on the line in a thrilling exhibition of physical prowess for the chance the etch their name in NFL history…that’s not what we came to see here at all.”
“Sure the action was okay, but maybe there should be a special place for that sort of thing so it doesn’t get in the way of the great effort and sacrifice put on show by our nation’s top advertising companies.”
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