Barack Obama Sends Hosni Mubarak Angry, All Caps Email

WASHINGTON DC – In a last ditch attempt to seek resolution in Egypt, US President Barack Obama has reportedly sent an impassioned, all caps email to Hosni Mubarak requesting his ‘IMMEDIATE’ departure from power.

The email, titled “WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!” demonstrated the clear frustration felt from the White House over the beleaguered president’s inability to know when he is not wanted by his people.

Despite beginning with ‘Dear Hosni’, Mr Obama quickly descends into a largely incoherent rant filled with numerous threats and unprovoked personal attacks on the Egyptian leader.

“YOURE THAT GUY AT THE PARTY THAT STAYS WAY AFTER IT’S FINISHED AND DOESNT EVEN HELP TO CLEAN UP!” read an early line of the 1000+ word message, which was timestamped at 3:38am.

All in all, grammar experts counted 68 separate spelling errors, 25 violations of apostrophe use and 6 sentences that ended with a preposition.

Mr Obama also used the phrase “IM NOT PLAYING AROUND WITH YOU” six times.

First draft

White house spokesman Robert Gibbs was left with no choice but to confirm the email was sent by the leader of the free world after the sender’s address was disclosed as ‘blackalicious08@whitehouse.gov’.

The email is understood to have been sent the email after President Mubarak’s announcement he will not step down, after which witness report seeing Mr Obama storm away with his laptop and lock himself inside the Oval Office.

In one of many direct queries, he asked:  “WHT ISITA BOUT THE SITUATION YOU DONT GET?HUH.  THE PEPLE DONT WANT YOU TKE THE HINT DUDE”

News of the leaked message comes on the back of earlier reports Senator John McCain had attempted to send a similarly enraged message, but sent the email to himself by mistake.

English professor Kirsten Jones agreed the president’s email was a textbook case of typing angry: “You can tell he’s had enough, just look at this sentence structure. There’s no punctuation.  We’re definitely seeing an angry Obama…the fact it was written in Times New Roman shows he didn’t even waste time changing to a better font.”

Considering every option

Political observers agree the email leaves the long time ally of previous administrations with little choice but to relinquish power.  Mr Obama has warned that if Hosni Mubarak did not step down soon, he would be forced to bring democracy to Egypt ‘the American way’.

“MY GOD IT’S BEEN THREE WEEKS FOR GOD SAKE.  IF I DON’T SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENMT ON MY TELEVISION SOON I’M COMING OVR THERE HOSNI.  I’M COING OVER THERE AND I’M BRINGING TROPS WITH ME”

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs disclosed that the email was not a planned response to the ongoing crisis, admitting “we didn’t know he was going to do anything like this.” Later adding: “had I known, I would have told him to sleep on it…or at least let me spell check his work.”

It remains to be seen whether the president’s email would have an effect on his Egyptian counterpart.  Officials say they will monitor the White House inbox for any response and would be willing to resend with the important flag set, but only “if the situation warranted it.”