NEW YORK – Industry analysts have warned the success of US homeless man Ted Williams has radically altered the market for loose change.
It’s widely believed that the rags to riches tale of the former radio announcer means much more will be expected from the ‘average bum in the street’.
“Would I say he’s changed the game? Absolutely”, was the view of analyst Matt Kellet, who felt that now Americans know what homeless people are capable of, they would think long and hard about parting with cash to appease a simple ‘so hungry, please spare some change’ sign.
Rock the boat
He predicted that “the stereotype of the homeless guy with no ability to entertain has been shattered,” suggesting that “people are going to want to be wowed before even thinking about handing over that dollar.”
Mr Kellet’s verdict has lead to a wave of homeless people attempting to showcase their talents in the hopes of even receiving a dime from passers by. This jump in expectations resulted in heavy criticism from some who feel that Ted Williams has ‘messed things up for the rest of us’.
“All I have is a cup and a venereal disease and that use to be enough,” commented Garry Allen, homeless for almost a decade with no discernible talents. Matt Kellet dismissed such talk as pathetic, however.
“It’s a tough market for everybody. If they don’t have a skill then they need to learn one and fast because the competition has been taken to the next level.”
Tough act to follow
It appeared members of the public agree with the analyst, with 71% of people confirming they are more likely to stop and think longer than usual before handing over sympathy change. 38% stating they would now only give money to ‘stand out’ candidates with great talent.
“If a homeless guy could sing really well, that would be nice,” claimed one woman. “Or maybe if he did some kind of contemporary dance routine. You know, something different.”
Local shop owner Jerry Levin explained how he stopped charitable contributions after seeing the video of Williams, and would only donate if and when someone showed some spirit and did something truly worth five bucks.
“Hey, this ain’t 2010 no more. We got a homeless guy with the voice of an angel and Frank on the corner there wants five large ones just ‘cos his shoes don’t match? Get outta here, I got kids to think about.”
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