WASHINGTON – President Obama has announced a landmark deal to extend the availability of the McRib sandwich past its original six week promotional sales window. Intended to boost McDonald’s sales for a limited time only, the agreement will see the McRib continue to be sold until at least 2012 and is said to demonstrate capitulation of Mr Obama to the demands of the top 2% of morbidly obese Americans.
The measure also includes concessions for a free dessert and unlimited soft drink refills for Americans earning less than $13,000 a year.
Participating stores only
The agreement, backed by McRib super-fans everywhere, has brought to an end weeks of uncertainty over the fate of the sandwich’s availability which was due to expire in December. Speaking at the counter of a Washington DC McDonald’s, Mr Obama said: “This is a bi-gastronomical agreement that will benefit the majority of Americans, not just the ones with a bad diet.”
Nutritionists and other healthy eaters hit out at the deal – still to be voted on by McDonald’s shareholders – as they believed it too generous to the overweight. “This is an extremely unhealthy burger,” complained TV chef and part time cry baby Jamie Oliver. “It will add at least five inches to America’s waistline and the country can’t afford that in the middle of an obesity crisis.”
“How about a nice salad instead, with fresh lean beef and a tomato and basil herb sauce wrapped in fresh pita bread,” he said before offering to ‘whip something up’.
By any definition, the deal represents a climb down by the White House and reflects the new reality in the American diet. The president however, stressed the need for compromise after Ronald McDonald threatened to pull the Big Mac from stores unless they could continue selling the McRib.
Reconstituted pork patty is good for America
Despite the backlash, perhaps crucially was the surprise backing from former President Bill Clinton who announced his backing for the McRib extensions in the most contentious endorsement since having to justify hiring a new intern to White House staff in 1995.
“I have reviewed the agreement the president reached with Ron,” Mr. Clinton told reporters who assembled for the hastily arranged conference: “Look, it’s a damn fine burger. We keep selling it and people will keep buying it, that’s going to create jobs and put food on the table with every order.”
“Gosh, can you believe this thing has not a single bone…Amazing.” he added.
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