Count Chocula Calls For Ivory Coast Resolution
Count Vladimir Elysius von Chocula aka “Count Chocula” has called for the disputed leader to step down for the sake of political stability.
Month: December 2010
“Jersey Shore Gave Me Brain Damage” Claims Woman
A woman is suing MTV Networks after prolonged exposure to Jersey Shore left her with a mild aneurysm as a result of severe trauma.
Julian Assange Has Library Card Revoked
In another instance of the backlash against WikiLeaks, founder Julian Assange has been informed that his library access has been terminated ‘with immediate effect’.
The Grinch ‘Losing War on Christmas’
A recently commissioned 1000 page study has concluded that the Grinch is losing the war on Christmas ‘in a major way’.
Screen Actors Guild Send TV Doctors To Aid Haiti Crisis
The Screen Actors Guild have stepped up to requests from Haiti for urgent aid, agreeing to send a cast of the best television doctors to the disaster hit country to help fight the cholera epidemic.
Dance Studios To Repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
NEW YORK – The National Dance Association has approved landmark legislation allowing openly straight people to serve in dance classes and recitals. Instructors voted heavily in favour of overturning the […]
America ‘Not Invited’ to UN Christmas Party
The US government has begun a major ass kissing campaign after outrage over diplomatic cables left them without an invite to the annual UN Christmas party.
World of Warcraft Beats First Week Crack Cocaine Sales
Blizzard Entertainment have confirmed that their new World of Warcraft expansion has broken a long standing sales record to become the fastest selling addictive substance since the crack epidemic of 1984.
Barack Obama Agrees to Extend McRib Sales Period
President Obama has announced a landmark deal to extend the availability of the McRib sandwich past it’s original six week promotional sales window.
WikiLeaks: Saudis Biggest Funder of Lindsay Lohan Movies
Saudi Arabia is the single biggest contributor to the funding of ‘truly awful’ Lindsay Lohan movies and is unwilling to cut off the money supply, according to a leaked note from Hillary Clinton