NORTH KOREA – The Coca-Cola Corporation has said a report that North Korea has built an unlicensed Coca-Cola bottling facility is further evidence of Pyongyang “continuing on a path which is destabilising for our shareholders.”
North Korean officials revealed the existence of the multi-storey plant to Stanford professor Siegfried Hecker, a self-proclaimed Coke fiend this week. Hecker’s tour was the first time that North Korea has either admitted or shown off a bottling facility and was thought to send a clear message to the American corporation: not only are we making our own Coke, but it tastes great!
‘Belligerent behaviour’
It appears scientists in Pyongyang continued enrichment of the secret formula after previous attempts could only produce a beverage with the taste of New Coke, and are now close to being able to manufacture, bottle and distribute their own Coke on a worryingly large scale.
“That they are trying to make their own refreshingly tasty Coke without the proper licensing agreement shows a long time deceitfulness that is beyond belief,” blasted a Coca-Cola spokeswoman.
The Coca-Cola Corporation said they had been aware of the North’s potential for duplicating their secret recipe, and although many were astonished at the news, CEO Muhtar Kent was not surprised.
“Sure, everyone loves the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola,” he said. “When those smooth bubbles go down your throat that sunshine smile spreads on you face? Who wouldn’t want to replicate that? But this is still unacceptable. They should have cleared this with our legal department.”
‘Can’t believe it’s not Coke’
If left unchecked, the facility could manufacture and bottle enough Coke and Diet Coke to supply hundreds of American birthday parties, vending machines and barbecue’s come next summer . The real worry would come if they manage to duplicate the site elsewhere. “They could use the first site to make Coke and a second to make Cherry Coke. We’d be out of business in no time,” warned Kent.
In a blind taste test, professor Hecker said he could not tell the difference between Coke produced in North Korea and America.
Experts point to the stranglehold of sanctions and suggest that Pyongyang is preparing to use the facility as an outlet for the sale of Coke and Coke related accessories to boost their economy.
“They want food. They are starving to death. If they sold their own Coke on the open market…well I don’t need to tell you how lucrative that would be.”
Leave a Reply