SAN FRANSISCO – Visa Inc [NYSE: V] have today unveiled the Race Card, a credit card with 0% on balance transfers and the ability to maximise situations were personal responsibility can be avoided with the mention of race.
The self-proclaimed ‘world’s most racially charged card’, made of carbon and fringed with a black metallic border, comes with no pre-set limit and a small annual fee of being an ethnic minority in a country built on slavery.
Race Card is exclusive to individuals in the US and membership is limited to the percentage of residents that have never been knowingly invited to a gathering of Klu Klux Klan meetings. Perks include access to a concierge service that will help you make your argument if you feel you have been the victim of a racial slight.
One cardholder was eager to praise its benefits: “Get this, I’m out to dinner and this waiter looks at me funny….No problem, I just pull out this little baby and BOOM! Free meal son. Dinner’s on the Race Card!”
Accepted in wide range of situations*, the Race Card Includes free upgrades on Virgin America, SouthWest and other airlines as well as special treatment when staying at the Hilton Hotel chain or any service based establishment in which cardholders can kick up a fuss before shouting “It’s because I’m black isn’t it?!”
A lighter skinned section of Visa customers have argued against the need to play the race card so overtly, but Global Head of Product James McCarthy hails the card as “a revolution in personal finance and race relations”.
When asked to explain the benefits between this and any other card on the market, he said: “Picture this: you’re at a restaurant and the cashier asks if you want the chicken special…you no longer have to be quietly offended that he suggested a meal based on the prejudicial stereotypes of your skin colour, now you can show your indignation by actually slamming down the Race Card…and you can pay for the meal at the same time. I think we’ve created something truly special here.”
Terms and Conditions:
Depending on our review of your application and your credit history, or if melanin levels are insufficient, we may be unable to open an account for you. You also understand that if your application is approved for an account, the APR and the type of account that you receive will be determined based on your racial bias and pre-existing belligerency. Please review the materials provided with your Cardmember Agreement for more details. This offer is available only to applicants who feel they have been previously wronged in the past due to the colour of their skin, with the exception of applicants who may be of ethnic origin but look fair enough to pass for white, and Mexicans. After your account is opened, we will periodically review your usage of the Race Card. If you do not maintain suitable levels of disproportionate racial outrage, we may revoke your account. This offer may not be available to you if you already have or have had a Race Card with us. You cannot use multiple Race Cards in conjunction with one another as their powers are not additive.
*May not be valid in certain situations while there is a black president.
Leave a Reply