CHICAGO – Bowser, leader of the Koopa race, has made a sensational appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show in a bid to repair his damaged reputation. The Koopa king, who was joined on the show by Doctor Robotnik, sought to appeal to viewers who see him to as an oppressive tyrant. “People play the video games and think they know me. The truth is I’m just not that guy.”
When asked about his on rivalry with Mario, Bowser contended there was more to the story: “You must understand that he’s breaking into my home. He comes to me Oprah. Harassing staff and throwing fire around like a lunatic. I have to defend myself.”
He announced he would be donating 100 million coins to the Mushroom Kingdom Training Fund, which aims to “invest in educating mushrooms on the best way to avoid aerial attacks,” a gesture Oprah called ‘heart-warming’. She also acknowledged that Bowser had wanted to donate the coins in September but couldn’t because he was busy conjuring his next evil scheme.
‘Our sympathy is in another castle’
The timing of the donation has led to speculation that the king of Koopas was attempting to counter bad press generated by his repeated kidnappings of Princess Peach. However, the head Goomba in charge of walking backward and forward in 2D space said motivations didn’t matter, ‘what’s important is the benefit to underprivileged mushroom cannon fodder everywhere.“
Both Mario and brother Luigi condemned the interview as a ‘weak’ PR stunt saying Bowser has shown his true colours time and time again in Super Mario Brothers three, Super Mario World and Super Mario 64 games among others. “One appearance on Oprah can’t change that,” said the plumber and part-time Raccoon. “I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw fireballs at him so he falls in that conveniently placed lava.”
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