GROUND ZERO, NY – In an effort to repair ties with the Muslim community, Republican politicians have offered Guantanamo Bay as an alternative site for the proposed Islamic centre and Mosque. The detention camp serves as the perfect location for ‘all people of Muslim faith to gather and pray’ believes Newt Gingrich, who even offered to help with construction if it would speed things up. “They’re all going to end up there anyway, this is just efficient”
The GOP are desperate not to be seen as alienating Muslims after opposing initial plans for construction just blocks from Ground Zero. There is widespread agreement the Cuba based site presents the most favourable way to deal with the controversy, and is backed by Sarah Palin who said “The first amendment protects the freedom of religion, but it doesn’t say anything about where.”
Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf said he appreciated the Republican proposal, but suspects there may be an ulterior motive. He is being encouraged to consider the benefits to current detainees, giving them something to do other than be water-boarded, as well as the uptake in new followers they would receive in such a ‘prime location for Muslim foot traffic’.
Sources close to the White House indicate the President favours the use of Guantanamo Bay as it would allow him to continue to avoid taking action on his 2009 promise to close it down.
A recent poll shows 70% of Americans are in favour of building the centre at Gitmo, and many Republicans have gone as far as to suggest it be used to house all future centres of Islamic worship. “It’s a convenient location for all concerned” added Gingrich. “They can practise their religion as they like to call it, and we can keep them all in one place. You know…just in case.”
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