HOLLYWOOD, CA – PR experts have finally managed to stop the flow of obscenities, spite and racial outbursts flowing from the leak in Mel Gibson’s mouth using an innovative new cap system. This is the first time the spill has stopped since an explosion in 2006 resulted in the star’s verbal attack on Jews. “It’s been a four year battle against the filth spilling uncontrollably from Mel onto our media, we’re glad we’ve managed to stem the flow for now” said a relieved Martin Eisenstadt who also helped will other major PR disasters such as the spillage of nonsensical ramblings from Sarah Palin throughout the 2008 election campaign.
President Barack Obama however, warned against over-optimism, reiterating that much work remained to be done. “It is important we don’t get ahead of ourselves” he said. “There’s still a lot of hate inside Mel and we will need to deal with that somehow.”
E! Entertainment figures show an estimated four million obscenities have leaked so far, affecting hundreds of thousands of minorities across America with Gibson’s finances suffering as women, African-Americans and Jewish people all avoid his films.
Many Hollywood insiders raised fears the cap – designed to fit tightly over Gibson’s mouth – would put ‘enormous pressure’ on him and cause an even greater spill of racial slurs to pour out, most likely over the state of Israel. “Mel hasn’t offended anyone in two days so things are looking good” added Eisenstadt, who stressed that this does not necessarily mean the flow of racial epithets would stop permanently and Mel could erupt at any time and ‘really let some ethnic guy have it’.
Mr Eisenstadt believes that should the cap system fail to contain the outpouring of hate filled words they would move to the next phase and just surgically staple Mel Gibson’s mouth shut.
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