HOUSTON, TX – In distressing news for the print news industry, a lemonade stand today exceeded the revenues of the local town’s daily newspaper for the first six months of 2010.
Connor Reid, a fourth grader who describes himself as a ‘ginormous’ SpongeBob fan, is the sole proprietor of ‘Connor’s Lemonade’ lemonade stand.
Situated on his parent’s front lawn, Reid has seen the most profitable period since his then 19-year-old big sister took temporary control of operations in the record summer heat of 2009.
‘Business is booming’
The announcement represents a remarkable turnaround from the days Connor worked a job with no long term prospects as a delivery boy for the same paper he now uses to wipe up unexpected lemonade spills .
‘Ummmm, I dunno. I guess people we’re really really thirsty’ was the child’s response when asked the secret to his success.
Connor’s father has described himself as ‘so damn proud of m’boy’ after seeing his son earn enough to buy his own Transformers lunch box and still have enough left over to bail out his former employers after the collapse of their business model lead to reports they have approached Connor for money in efforts to avoid bankruptcy.
Failing newspapers
A newspaper spokesman dismissed rumours of financial problems, instead questioning the long term viability of the lemonade stand.
“We haven’t asked for money, don’t be ridiculous. He’s a kid, just because he left us to make something of himself selling lemonade proves nothing” defended Mark Tenenbaum.
“Connor shouldn’t get too excited anyway. What will he do when people start getting their lemonade from the internet?”
Unconcerned with thoughts of changing business conditions, Connor is currently focused on spending his new found wealth at Disneyland when his parents take him as reward for getting a record seven gold stars from school within the same accounting period.
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