DOWNING STREET, UK – George Osbourne has defended his plan to invest in up to a billion National Lottery tickets over the next three years in the first budget since the coalition was formed. Talking to reporters outside a local corner store, Mr Osborne said the money from each week’s jackpot will go to tackling Britain’s record deficit of £155 billion. He reiterated confidence the measures would mean the UK “can look to a brighter future…especially if we get that rollover jackpot”.
The Conservative government have made hard cuts to education and welfare budgets and have also increasing VAT to ensure they can fund the purchase of tickets for Thunderball, Euro Millions and Lotto competitions. It’s also understood the Chancellor plans to purchase ‘a whole bunch’ of scratchcards. “We won’t be putting all our eggs into one basket” Mr Osbourne said. “Look how many scratchcards I have…there must be at least 50 winners here!”.
The plan has been met with fierce criticism from the opposition, with Alistair Darling said to be extremely worried the measures won’t go far enough to address the deficit. “The Lotto is nice, but we need more than that if we are to return to growth within three years” commented the Shadow Chancellor. “I would have spent some of that in a casino, the odds are much better. I don’t think Mr Osborne understands the scale of the problem here”.
Acting Labour leader Harriet Hermon has called the plan a desperate gamble that would ‘pull the rug’ from under lower and middle income families who would now find it difficult to play the Lottery due to what is effectively a government monopoly on tickets.
No one at the Treasury was available for comment as all personnel were said to be too busy filing out scratchcards.
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