SANFRANSISCO, CA – A Silicon Valley entrepreneur has launched a beta of African baby adoption site ‘Ebaby’, targeted at celebrities looking to adopt African babies without having to visit the country or follow normal rules of adoption. Ebaby is being hailed as a ‘revolution’ in the African baby adoption market and is already been trialled by celebrities such as Angelina Jolie and Madonna. “It’s just amazing” said the pop star whose age could not be determined at the time of writing. “I can choose from so many African babies…and there’s free delivery too!” The site is the brainchild of Kevin Brandon who came up with the idea after seeing many celebrities struggle with logistical and legal technicalities in their efforts to claim an African baby. “I watched so many celebrities jumping through unnecessary hoops just to get one of these things. I just thought there’s got to be an easier way”. Once out of the beta stage, the system will be made available to the general celebrity African baby market.
I spoke with Kevin to discover more about the game changing service.
Technology Correspondent: Kevin, I’ve heard so many good things about the site.
Kevin: Thanks Martin. It’s been a crazy few weeks.
Technology Correspondent: I can imagine, why don’t you tell us about it?
Kevin: Absolutely! Ebaby is the world’s first online system where any celebrity can order–err, adopt their own African baby and have it delievered to their mansion, villa or condo.
Technology Correspondent: Hmm. So it’s like Amazon meets…African babies?
Kevin: That’s exactly it! We’re completely removing the hassle of getting one of these things from Africa.
Technology Correspondent: What hassles?
Kevin: Firstly there’s the hassle of actually going to Africa. I mean, who really wants to do that, right?
Technology Correspondent: How will you know what kind of baby you’re getting?
Kevin: Our algorithm takes your African baby criteria and generates a gallery featuring the best matches…for adoption.
Technology Correspondent: Sounds innovative. What about the legal issues, like parental consent?
Kevin: We can skip all of that. It’s the beauty of not being based in Africa. Our local distributors negotiate a price with the parents before the baby is preped and shipped to Hollywood or any opulent neighbourhood in the US.
Technology Correspondent: That’s all handled by your team?
Kevin: Yep. We handle all the back end stuff so the celebrity doesn’t have to. It’s a very fluid process.
Technology Correspondent: And where does the money go?
Kevin: Well, we take a cut to keep servers running…
Technology Correspondent: Sure, sure.
Kevin: Our local people get a cut too.
Technology Correspondent: What about the parents?
Kevin: …the real reward for them is knowing that their African baby will have a better life with an American celebrity.
Technology Correspondent: That sounds great Kevin. Why don’t we take a look at the site?
Kevin: Sure, I’ve signed in on my laptop here.
Technology Correspondent: OK, so this is the homepage?
Kevin: Yep, you can enter enter the criteria of the African baby you want or pick from the pre-defined list.
Technology Correspondent: Well, lets see….’Basketball Wiz’ sound great. I’d love to have a son that could make the team.
Kevin: Haha, we get a lot of that. So you just hit ‘find myEbaby’ and presto.
Technology Correspondent: Over a thousand results! That was simple.
Kevin: It’s what we’re aiming for. The checkout process is a breeze and in 2 to 3 weeks you’ll have a brand new African baby.
Technology Correspondent: Great stuff. How many celebrities do you have using the site?
Kevin: Loads. We’ve got such a positive reaction and dozens of African babies have already been processed though our system.
Technology Correspondent: You seem pretty confident this will be a success?
Kevin: We think Ebaby is going to revolutionise the African baby market for celebrities. Even D list stars that never previously thought of owning an African baby are looking at us and saying ‘Hey, maybe I should own an African baby’. We’re making it so easy to secure once of the most sought after accessories in Hollywood and once we finalise the revenue model, pretty soon we will be able to scale to to other poor nations and–What are you doing?
Technology Correspondent: Just trying out the ordering process…This is a test account right?
Kevin: No! You’ve just ordered an African baby.
Technology Correspondent: Oh right. But you do have a returns policy?
Kevin: …We haven’t quite figured out a way to return the babies without anyone noticing.
Technology Correspondent: Oh…In that case, I think here’s good place to end. You’ve got a really good product and um…
Kevin: …
Technology Correspondent: …I should call my wife.
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