CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA – England players and coaching staff are said to be confident of their ability to struggle at this year’s World Cup.
The team started their campaign with a disappointing draw against the USA and a performance that has given renewed hope they can be knocked out of the tournament ‘sooner rather than later’.
The stuttering point was achieved as goalkeeper Robert Green failed to contain a routine shot from USA’s Clint Dempsey, allowing the slow moving ball to bounce out of his hands and into the net.
“We got ourselves off to such a good start” said Green. “If someone hadn’t done something, we might have won that game and we couldn’t afford that at this early stage”.
Fabio Cappello was understood to be ‘fuming’ at his team’s start having seen Gerrard inexplicably score a goal to cap off a flowing passing move.
Although happy with Green’s contribution that saw England return to their mediocre best, he reportedly gave the players a ‘proper bollocking’, which lead to the England ending the game struggling to reach any sort of top form.
“I think we play too well in the first half” comment the Italian. “But we mange to sabotage ourselves and cost the game. This is good, I like this”.
English fans were so disgusted at the good start that broadcaster ITV decided to not show the goal to avoid upsetting viewers, instead switching to a commercial. “We knew no one wanted to see that” explained chief Adam Crozier.
The English press have been unanimous in their backing of the national team’s potential to really make things difficult for themselves.
“I think with one or two injuries and more performances like this one we are sure to be knocked out by one of the smaller nations…or on penalties”.
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