TIMES SQUARE, NY – A Pakistani-born US citizen has been formally charged for overreacting to a poor performance of Jersey Boys on Broadway. Faisal Shahzad was reportedly so appalled at the quality of acting he attempt to blow up the theatre using a crudely fashioned explosive device to ensure ‘the show would not go on’. Attorney General Eric Holder has confirmed Mr Shahzad will also be charged for failing to pay for his popcorn and medium soda on the night. “OK so you didn’t like the performance, but you still have to pay for the food. That’s too extreme.” The Broadway fan was arrested in line buying tickets for an 8pm showing of the Lion King the next day.
An usher at the August Wilson Theatre overheard Mr Shahzad mumbling ‘that was the worst performance ever!” before stating he would blow the place ‘sky high’ as he stormed out of the building during the halftime interval. “They weren’t on their game that night . I’ve worked here for 6 months now and it was definitely one of the worst showings…but I still think it was an overreaction.”
New York residents have blasted Mr Shahzad‘s reaction to what was agreed to be a bad acting performance on the night, with many suggesting that simply asking for a refund would have been sufficient. “I was at the show and it stunk!” said one theatre goer. “But giving up your parking spot to blow the place up is nuts. I hear he didn’t pay for his popcorn either? What a douchebag!”
Barack Obama has also condemned the overreaction as well as the poor standard of acting that led to the incident, saying it was a “sobering reminder of what can happen when an actor take his or her eye off the ball for even one night.”
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