ENGLAND, UK – Thousands of registered voters were left without a say in the General Election after sending their vote for Prime Minister to X Factor. Many slow voters had confused the live television debates with a series of the reality talent show. “I texted the number init. I wanted my vote to count” said Tracy Spencer who has previously voted for previous winners of Big Brother, Britain’s Got Talent and Strictly Come Dancing. “I got a text back saying the voting was closed. The bloody system don’t work init.”
The shows producers where said to be ‘genuinely surprised’ that people had sent their vote to X Factor phone lines considering the current series ended last year, and X Factor ‘has nothing to do with the General Election’. Simon Cowell personally received over 100 calls on election night. “Why in Gods name were they calling me?” said the former X Factor judge. “I was about to eat dinner and tell my wife exactly why she’ll never become a professional chef when someone called me about Nick Clegg?! These people are idiots.”
It’s thought the number of voters who voted through X Factor phone lines instead of polling stations may have contributed to the country witnessing it’s first hung Parliament since 1974. “We’ll be launching a thorough view to discover why these people are so stupid” vowed Jenny Watson of the electoral commission. Election hopeful Nick Clegg was especially critical that the idiot vote did not count. “I’m calling for a fool proof reform of the system…everybody’s vote should count, everybody” said the Liberal Democrat leader whose party received less votes than any previous X Factor finalist.
Gordon Brown was unavailable for comment having been ‘extremely busy’ looking for any loophole that would allow him to cling to power for a little longer.
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