LONDON, UK – 2012 Olympic organisers expressed confidence that the recently unveiled Olympic mascots will be ugly enough to mask the ‘visual monstrosity’ that is the Orbit Tower, itself created to mask the ‘repulsive’ Olympic logo.
Committee members believe Wenlock and Mandeville, two ‘creepy, shiny, cyclops thingys’ will succeed in preventing the public from ridiculing the other Olympic symbols.
“Well, the logo is awful and the tower is even worse” explained Sebastion Coe. “We couldn’t undo what’s been done…so we worked hard to create something even worse to distract attention from them.”
“We achieved that today”.
The Orbit Tower was chosen from a number of entries for its nonsensical design inspired by France’s Eiffel Tower, “if it had been pulled out of a thousand foot crusher mid crushing”.
Wenlock and Mandeville – inspired by the technical ability of children – will almost certainly defy odds and make the Orbit look like a masterpiece of modern art, and the Olympic logo passable.
The pair are intended to raise £15million in merchandising revenue, all of which will go to paying proper designers in future so nothing like this ever happens again.
Wolff Ollins, the ‘design company’ responsible for the logo haven’t received work since 2007 and are said to be extremely grateful that the mascots have taken the heat off their tragic design effort.
“I thought the humiliation would never end! Hopefully someone will hire us again…Please,” begged CEO Karl Heiselman.
Local residents are also confident of Wenlock and Mandeville’s ability to completely erase the unsavoury memory of the Olympic logo.
‘Flippin’ heck! They’re ugly init. I can’t even remember the logo…definitely ain’t worse than these two though,” commented a flabbergasted resident.
Reports indicate work is already underway to produce something even more visually offensive to distract from the Olympic mascots in time for the start of the games.
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