DOWNING ST, LONDON – The first cracks in the Lib-Con coalition appeared after Nick Clegg was said to be ‘extremely annoyed’ at David Cameron for failing to clean milk he spilled in first week of the new government. The Prime Minister played down the incident however, saying it was ‘no big deal’ and he would ‘get that when I’m back’. Mr Clegg, who rejects claims of being the woman in the relationship, spent the first week cleaning number 10 Downing Street while David Cameron picked cabinet members.
The deputy Prime Minister is believed to be seeking ‘radical change’ in Mr Cameron’s living habits, having prepared a 34 page list of grievances which he plans to present on the Tory Leader’s return from running the country. It is thought to contain such actions as flushing the toilet properly, agreeing on Alternate Voting and not drying boxer shorts in the living room. “I know they’re clean but it’s still damn disgusting” exclaimed Clegg. “He never even told me he was going out today…so going to wash these dishes huh?”
Tory backbenchers have condemned Clegg for being ‘way too anal’, criticising the cleaning schedule outlined by the OCD deputy leader, which would see Mr Cameron scrubbing toilets and dusting the cabinet table despite already being scheduled to discuss public sector cuts on Tuesday afternoons. “There’s such a thing as too clean” fumed Charles Walker, MP for Broxbourne. “I think Nick needs to chill out before he goes too far.”
Coalition supporters however, remain optimistic and dismiss noises of discontent as part of the usual ‘honeymoon period’, pointing to duo Bert and Ernie as a prominent example two men overcoming clear personal differences to maintain a productive working relationship. “People forget what a bitch Bert was in those first 50 days, but they got over it”.
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