CUPERTINO, CA – Thousands of Apple fans lined up outside stores across the globe to convert to iReligion, a legally recognised religion released by Steve Jobs after over 10 years of speculation.
“We all knew this was coming” said a TechCrunch blogger “releasing this religion was the natural step for Apple’s business model going forward”.
Confirmation came when the Apple founder responsible for the iPod, iPhone and a 400% rise in sales of black turtleneck sweaters, descended from his mountain top home bearing a pair of 32GB WiFi enabled iPads, also made available over the weekend.
Jobs himself was however only available for comment to the Wall Street Journal.
Apple fans already belonging to existing faiths have been torn by the decision to convert to the new religion, but have found solace in Jobs’ guidance: “Just change your religious beliefs, no big deal.” was the email response many got from the Apple CEO.
iReligion conversions have since risen dramatically and sightings of Jobs in grilled cheese sandwiches have skyrocketed since April 3rd.
Despite the positive response to the latest Apple release, members of existing religions have denounced the ‘materialistic cult’, arguing that the world doesn’t want a new religion or even iPad. Followers of iReligion have reacted angrily.
“Forget what you want, Steve gives you what you need,” JobsDeciple281 replied on Twitter. “At least we don’t touch kids. The only thing I run my fingers over have the Apple logo on.”
The new institution will enjoy all the benefits of a recognised religion including holidays around major product releases.
Analysts predict iReligion numbers could eclipse those of Scientology in 3-5 years.
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