ML News Studio, NY- Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, the London educated, middle class Nigerian and would be bomber of flight 253 from Holland to Detroit has highlighted an obvious truth; The United States must attack Yemen. Like Afghanistan, the people of Yemen presumably live in caves which makes them as dangerous as they are primitive. Like Iraq, Yemen may or may not have weapons of mass destruction and like Iran, Yemen hates democracy. A triple threat. The Christmas Day attack was conceived in Yemen but delivered in the United States and demonstrates the threat that this extremist country poses to global security which will surely be dealt with once it’s location on a map is found.
I spoke to Bill Turner, an advocate for military intervention in Yemen and 5 other Middle Eastern countries.
[Terror Correspondent] Bill, glad you could join us on such short notice.
[Bill] Absolutely, this is too important to ignore.
[Terror Correspondent] Why hasn’t Yemen been bombed Bill? After all, it is the new home of terror?
[Bill] The country gone soft since the damn Democrats took over! The sooner we realise we’re in a war and start dropping some bombs the safer we’ll all be.
[Terror Correspondent] Has the mainstream media have done enough to highlight the threat from Yemen?
[Bill] They were doing fine until Haiti. Now all I hear is ‘earthquake’ this and ‘aid’ that.
[Terror Correspondent] It was bad timing. How can refocus the public’s attention?
[Bill] We need to get these people back on their feet as quickly as possible and out of the news so we can get back to Yemen!
[Terror Correspondent] How big is the threat? Would you say it’s Ginormous?
[Bill] Yes I would. It has always been a threat. Ever since last month.
[Terror Correspondent] Let’s take a moment to examine the threat. Firstly, where is Yemen?
[Bill] Where? Extremist ground zero. The breeding ground for terror. Last frontier of Jihad.
[Terror Correspondent] But where on the map, specifically?
[Bill] I don’t know…near Russia? We can find out when we attack!
[Terror Correspondent] OK, we’ll check on the later. Why do you think the country fallen to violent Islamic terrorism so easily?
[Terror Correspondent] How would you proceed to root out al-Qaeda?
[Bill] Start dropping bombs in the middle of the God forsaken country! Wipe ’em all out before they get us.
[Terror Correspondent] You make a compelling argument, but can we afford to launch another campaign to fight terror?
[Bill] I don’t understand your reservations. You didn’t say this was a liberal network?
[Terror Correspondent] It’s not. Err, what about the aftermath of any attack?
[Bill] The Yemenis can deal with that. It’s their country.
[Terror Correspondent] Hmm, are we in danger of becoming entangled in a never ending game of wack-a-mole, draining our struggling economy of much needed monies and stretching our military capabilities to breaking point in a futile effort to vanquish the unvanquishable?
[Bill] …What!? No, of course not. We go in. We bomb. We win. If we don’t stop them on their doorstep they’ll come to ours.
[Terror Correspondent] But the more I think about it the more I–
[Bill] Let me make it clear for you. If you look closely you’ll find that the letters in Yemen can be rearranged to spell…Enemy. I can’t put it any simpler than that.
[Terror Correspondent] But we should surely–Oh. my. God. You’re right. Yemen…Enemy.
[Bill] Uh-huh. It was meant to be.
[Terror Correspondent] You’ve given us a lot to think about Bill. Thank you for you insight today.
[Bill] No problem. If only the President would hear such reason.
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