DETROIT, MI – Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab has continued to stress his terror connections after it was suspected he fabricated the terror attack aboard a US airline on Christmas Day to cover an ‘underwear malfunction’. Authorities have already linked the 23 year old Nigerian with al-Qaeda and where to start gathering evidence to support this, but the search has been put on hold after images surfaced showing Mr Mutallab deposited a sizeable amount of faeces in his under garments whilst on board the flight. It is now thought he may have simply ‘crapped his pants’ and used the bomb attack to hide his embarrassment. When questioned, Mutallab remained adamant he didn’t know where the faeces had come from and that he was in fact a terrorist with ‘big big’ links to al-Qaeda.
Our correspondent is in Detroit with the latest.
[Chief Correspondent] Vicky I’m just looking over these pictures again, tell us what they mean.
[Terror Correspondent] Well it was first feared that Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab was the latest in a line of Islam Jihad Muslim terrorist extremists after it was reported he had tried to set off an explosive device.
[Chief Correspondent] But this isn’t the case?
[Terror Correspondent] No. It appears that he had tricked observers into thinking he was a terrorist.
[Chief Correspondent] But he is believed to have links with al-Qaeda?
[Terror Correspondent] Yes, he does fit the profile of being a man of Muslim faith on a plane to the US. However, this now looks to not be the case.
[Chief Correspondent] Just what happened on that plane?
[Terror Correspondent] Reports indicate that Mr Abdul Mutallab had appeared ‘fidgety’ during the flight. As the plane prepared for landing, he was seen quickly leaving his seat at which point passengers claim hearing a noise like a ‘firecracker’ going off.
[Chief Correspondent] This is the moment he lost control of his bowel movements?
[Terror Correspondent] After seeing his underwear, it is clear this was the origin of the noise first believe to be an explosive device.
[Chief Correspondent] So how are investigators proceeding?
[Terror Correspondent] The theory is now that Mr Abdul Mutallab had planned to wait until landing on US soil to do his business, but could not hold out for the duration of the flight.
[Chief Correspondent] So he made up the entire bombing attempt?
[Terror Correspondent] Exactly. Once it was too late to reach the on board facilities, Mr Abdul Mutallab devised the bomb attempt to hide his shame. Terror attacks are proven to be a good method of distraction.
[Chief Correspondent] How has he reacted to these allegations?
[Terror Correspondent] Not very well. He has vehemently denied responsibility for the feces found in his undergarments and and continues to affirm he was making a guenuine terror attempt.
[Chief Correspondent] If Abdul Mutallab really is a terrorist…where did this stool come from?
[Terror Correspondent] That’s the big question and investigators say they will perform DNA testing on the subject and determine it’s origins.
[Chief Correspondent] Perhaps we can then clear up this messy situation. Thanks Vicky.
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